"Our Lives are not our own. We are bound to others, past and present, and by each crime and every kindness, we birth our Future"
David Mitchell, Cloud Atlas
I'm checking my inbox and I am bombarded by imperatives. "Obama NEEDS you". "Trump MUST be Stopped"... I have to wonder who is benefiting from all this urgency. Of course they are asking donations. Of course in the past I have been caught up in the vast momentum of the Bernie Sanders movement. I have donate more online in 2016 than in all of my years on this planet. Stroking my super-ego with the intimate attention of a well-placed plead. I have "liked" Occupy which may have virtually been swallowed up by mainstream media but has been echoed through the protest poetry of 60's icons like Diane DiPrima who recognized it for the collective re-awakening of the revolutionary spirit in a corporate-dominated America.
Even my own language seems hyperbolic. Yet there is an intensity in the air that happens the moment those electronic sparks start flying. The moment those words are unleashed.
In this age of hyper-connectedness, I have to wonder are the foil hats correct? And if "they" are watching us, who are "they" and what do they hope to get out of it?
"Cloud Atlas" a stunning sleeper science fiction of multiple worlds, of reincarnation and the endurance of love, the ability of humanity to transcend savagery and institutions of slavery and corporate control. The same story told over and over again, the agonizing climb towards evolution and the failure of technology to make us better people. Yet an underlying message of hope and inter-connectedness not unlike our incestuous Nirvana here in cyberspace.
These interconnections don't shock me anymore.
Once the ambulance drove me away and I woke up in the hospital, I lost my fear of "going crazy." Jungian symbolic alchemy showed me that "the hospital" was a threshold monster. I had to go to the hospital to prove I was not crazy. It was the ultimate "carnival flip" that could tell me the true story I was too wedded to a the cognitive dissonance that was my daily reality at the job that was slowly killing me while trying to save the lives of patients dying from the poisons in their bodies caused by the imbalances of the American lifestyle and diet, and extreme poverty and genetic vulnerabilities , diseases with their own tragic agenda of racial profiling.
Now it seems that I am find out I am saner than ever. Way too sane for this side show spin game and the shit slinging, the idealization and demonization that has plagued these Borderline States of America, the closing of minds and hearts and self-denial and projection that are typical of any neurotic but now seem to be lionized as conviction and integrity and "authenticity"
I am tired of being gas-lighted, bullied, traumatized, insulted, and emotionally abused in the name of other people's addictions, on the left or on the right, to righteous indignation.
I really wanted to like Jill Stein but she just doesn't push the Bernie button which was about so much more than policy, so much more than the carrot-and-stick of hope and fear. It was about the largeness of the human spirit and the prevalence in all cultures of something like the Golden Rule. It was about his sticking to the issues and not resorting to name-calling or denigration. The dignity it takes to support someone you agree with in some ways and don't agree with in others is a dignity that seems to be a dying art, like setting a formal table or writing a thank you letter. But it is just those things that make a difference in the picture you present to the world.
Someone on a blog supporting Jill wrote that voting for Hillary after what happened at the DNC was like dating your rapist. This meme has been taken up and used to shame friends who favor an established politician, for their own reasons which are uniquely sacred to the individual, to back a likely winner rather than a long shot. Who opt for progress at inches rather than rapid regression. Who want voting reform and justice but know it will take time. Who have perhaps themselves been victims of abuse and whom the word rape itself is a huge trigger. When I tried to defuse the negativity with a story about the rise of feminism by a cultured celebrity that just happened to be President Obama, I got an angry response that he was "the worse president ever." When I explained it wasn't really political, it was about the radical idea that women could be strong leaders and men could be allowed to shed a tear. The response I received was "He's destroying society"
The idea of equality and evolution, of integration and harmony is "destroying" society? This seems unbelievable that this man and I were once in the same group singing Glory and Praise in a hippy dippy Catholic church in the 70's where they danced the Passion and drummed in Chistmas Eve. I didn't declare this culture war. Please don't shoot at me Mr. Marine.
I'm done. Stop the abuse. Word Lives Matter
I have spent hours and dollars time and money in therapy trying to do the damage that mere words have done to me, the damage that holds shackles as strong as violence. I have witnessed my mother and been myself a victim of domestic violence. I have paid forward the karmic debt of my privilege as a happily married feminist by volunteering on the hotline for a local domestic violence agency that exists through donations and government grants that could be cut any time in the current regime we are under, It assists survivors of all types of power inequities that still persist-racism, sexism, homophobia, trans-phobia. I have spent the last six months talking to people who have been threatened, traumatized, controlled and tortured by emotional and physical violence. I have seen the scars and seen the remarkable and transformative healing that can take place when we receive and experience regard, affection, healthy touch and human connection. Dance, touch, pleasure and rest can heal trauma. I have seen evidence of this.
Sticks and stones, we are taught, may break our bones but words can never hurt us, It is cold comfort for the bullied. It is so contrary to what our beings, our energies, our psyches know. Tell this to the girls shamed online by strangers who took their own life. Tell that to the bullied and ostracized Muslim boys who are driven into the arms of jihad. Tell that to the poets who put their lives on the line to speak the truth to power in totalitarian regimes. No poet worth his salt would believe that.
We are told that words don't hurt, it is all in our heads, yet many of the trauma and abuse, the sexual shaming of woman the denigration of race, the demonization of our enemies, had their origin in words.
We are so thin-skinned that the words "Black Lives Matter" can make us cringe a little and feel singled out, maybe even under attack.
"Black Lives Matter" is supposed to make us feel uncomfortable. It is a poetic sucker punch of philosophical and existential potency. Of course, we the vanilla middle, the spiritual-not-religious, we the good whites, the Unitarians who march on Martin Luther King Day, the ones who are kind to are African-American coworkers (they wanted us to call them African-Americans where is this "Black" thing coming from?), the Hollywood liberals who voted for Obama living with the invisible superpower of privilege more kind of privilege than ever before--male privilege, white privilege, cis-privilege (oh now they have gone too far, they are making up words now this can't be serious) a new flavor of oppression comes out every week what obnoxious hashtag will trend next?
So our knee-jerk reaction is to say "Of Course, All Lives Matter" not realizing that that is not the point. Rather than accept their justified rage we want to white-wash our discomfort with platitudes. We want to take their words away.
No. I will not take anyone else's words away. That is not my right. I will support your right to protest, to seek justice, to be counted and exist with the same rights as anyone else. I will support your right to esteem yourself, even reject me and my values, as long as you respect other's rights to do the same. But I will not stand for hate speech which is a form of abuse.
I want to see more stories of cooperation and collaboration, stories of using words to bring light in the darkness and expose what gets lost in the shadows. I want to see politicians offering something besides a negative image of what they believe their opponent to be. I didn't come for a wrestling match. I don't believe any human being is infallible or entirely evil. We are all a part of each other holding the potential for so much collective strength and healing. But first we have to talk to each other and learn to speak each other's language.
We have come so far but there is so much farther to go.
Let's not go backwards. Let it start with civility, respect, finding "principled agreement" with those whose world views may be different and life experiences may have taught them different lessons. The trans-partisan movement is bringing the skills of dialogue and dialectic to political arenas. Healing the dysfunctional marriage between Democrats and Republics, co-opted by culture wars while the corporations laughed all the way to the bank to pull everyone's strings. I survived the schism of "you're mother is crazy you're father's an asshole." I have been in the middle of a barrage of verbal onslaught and I know the energetic pattern of that false dualism,
I am sitting in the back seat of America silently crying "Why can't you just get along?"
The words you use convey the energy of your intention. Is your energy anger, fear, joy or love? Ask yourself before you hurl that missile stand down the tactical nukes.
I promise you I will not negate your energy I will suggest safe outlets expression in dance, in protest, in music, poetry, and I will share your powerful narratives. Some well-meaning wholistic healers posted that they would have a "Day of Sage" and not a "Day of Rage"after the latest shootings of black people by police. I joined their prayers for peace. But it was not their right to take that away from those who were in shock and mourning. Counterprotest is counterproductive. Argue your case without denigrating someone's else's concerns. Kindness and consideration is not capitulation. Holding space for anger is not owning the burden or the blame.
I will not, even in the name of a cause that is just, use fighting words. We have overplayed the Nazi scenario over and over it is like a collective trauma of our age. It is our geopolitical PTSD.
If Word Lives Matter, than calling Trump supporters Nazi sympathizers spreads fear, anger and panic.Because to the nervous system, especially the highly-sensitive hyper-charged overstimulated nervous system, a perceived threat causes the same response as an actual threat. Thus a little old lady writing a check to support a man who wants to restore "law and order" because her reptilian brain fear response has been hyper-stimulated by a bullying conman becomes herself an object of terror. Thus my twenty-something nephew asking the question after Marriage Equality was passed "why is Facebook so gay and saying it is weird triggers the fear of a friend whose loved ones were denied the right to be with their partner when they were dying by harsh Republican laws. Thus my decision to let my loved one adjust to change and not hit the electronic "smite" key causes me to be branded with a Nazi flag. I am chastised not because I don't agree but because I don't agree with them enough, or in the right way.
But I refuse to give in to fear from the right or the left I refuse to live in a world where I am afraid of little old ladies and teenage boys. I reject the fear the "low vibration" flight, fight or freeze response.
I refuse to traumatize myself and alienate other people with this word. Change is not created at the same energetic level that created the problem. Elevate oneself, and one can have a ripple effect on the world,
Once the ancients believed that Bards, not just songsters but the wise advisers of Celtic kings, had the power to "satirize" an enemy and cause boils to break out on his face. The Druids never wrote anything down words were too powerful. Inspiration of poets was not just mere artistic fancy it was prophecy. True Thomas received the gift of faery, the-fire-in-the-head, and could not tell a lie. What a double-edge sword these word lives wield. Writers are famous for misanthropy and bad relationships.
Now we are finding that exposure to toxic messages and inflammatory rhetoric combined with the instantaneous power of communication can expose us to blatant attack. We feel barraged and want to volley back, defend our position with zealous idealism. But if we had respect for the weapons we would become martial artists, and learn the art of deflection and de-escalation. If we had respect for the magic we would craft our words carefully, diplomatically, fold them over and over into a fine edge like a Japanese sword. Not hack and slash and brutalize.
Word lives matter. So may we all chose our words with a little more cognizance that there is a living breathing suffering loving scared human behind that blustering arm-chair tyrant striking out at a rapidly changing word through the anonymity of a keyboard. May we chose our words well when we engage in the exchange and honor the words that someone we come into relationship with has for themselves and not impose our own on them for them.. May we burn with as much compassion as conviction. May we allow someone else a word in edgewise and not fear immediately that we may be confused or convinced. May we find a harmony in that uncomfortable place may we go inward and reflect on why we were triggered and what we learned about ourselves as a result of the trigger. May we own our responses and our responsibility long before we hit "send"
Because indeed sticks and stones break bones, but when words are hurled with the force of shame they can kill.
Word Lives Matter, because they have a strange immortality lingering in the stratosphere. We want our legacy to reflect the very best of us and not our invective.
Word lives matter poems curses blessings prayers
Word Lives Matter, because we matter, all our lives, all our words
Word Lives Matter, please treat them, please treat each other like they do
